One of the things I was so damn sure about when I started the blog was that among the topics I will cover, TV shows, books and movies would play a great part. Why? Because I don’t go out nearly enough to have other meaningful things to talk about. In truth, they are so ingrained in our culture that “What did you think of the last episode of [insert-title-here]?” is as much a valid question as “How you been?” (and will, most probably, get more complex and honest answers). Which is not bad at all. Anything that makes people connect, think and theorize gets a cookie in my book (though who would WANT a cookie in their book? They leave crumbles and stuff).
Okay, enough with the (c)rambling. The million merits dollar question is: Which show makes you a. connect; b. think; c. theorize? If your answer is not Black Mirror, then you are so, so wrong. But I will not go into full fangirl mode about why your taste in shows sucks (not now, at least). Instead, while we’re coming down from the Bandersnatch-induced high and waiting for the next best release, I will rank the Top Ten Black Mirror episodes.
I scored all episodes out of 29, as follows:
- Reality check (1 to 5): What is the likelihood of it happening in real life/near future (key word, near future. Ie. stuff that is a direct advanced version of what we currently have will score higher than entirely futuristic scenarios)? How feasible is the technology portrayed, if any?
- Grim factor (1 to 5): How “bright” is the future? This would mostly focus on the episode’s ending and how everything ties up.
- Personal ranking (1 to 19): This is just for me to fix the scores in case the ratings above don’t bring my favourite episode the #1 spot. My blog, sue me. NOTE: In the event of a tie, the episode who ranked better on my personal board will get the higher spot.
Without further ado, BAM.
10. Hang the DJ 16/29
After the success of San Junipero the previous season, Season 4 brought more “feel-good” type of episodes. While not a bad thing, this felt somewhat forced and it took away from the bleakness we’ve come to expect from Black Mirror. Hang the DJ was not a bad episode, though it kinda left me hanging and waiting for more as the ending was underwhelming. 2/5
TechTalks: The technology used in this episode seems awfully similar to the cookies in the White Christmas episode, so this could potentially be happening in the same Universe. I could see an app like this working in the distant future, especially with the artificial intelligence on the rise. It would surely save a lot of headache (heartache?), and its uses could go way beyond just dating. Need to make an important decision? No worries, we got you, here are all the possible outcomes so you can follow an informed course of action. Take-out or fancy restaurant? Well, 76% of the simulations favoured the take-out. Of course, it could be argued that by taking away the decision-making skill you are taking away humanity, but that’s a story for another time. 3/5
9. The National Anthem 17/29
This episode is Hated in the Nation. It is raw, it is ugly and detestable, but its social commentary is so on point that it just pierces through all the loathing it has achieved. For an episode that doesn’t really have relatable characters (sure, you must feel for the Prime Minister unless you’re a sociopath), this episode is a perfect portrayal of the human nature and it is just beautiful to watch it unfold. The grim part? If this had a “based on true events” note at the end, I wouldn’t bat an eye. Bold choice for a Pilot too. 8/10
8. USS Callister 17/29
Another episode that doesn’t make you hate life. It stands out from the other Black Mirror episodes through its more action-based pace, and its general tone and imagery. An enjoyable watch, great cast, satisfying ending. 1/5
TechTalks: The game seems to be an advanced version of the cookies, so in the Black Mirror world it absolutely makes sense. We don’t have this kind of technology in our world yet as far as I’m aware (unless I’m a cookie in which case I wouldn’t be aware…) and I highly doubt it’s next on Musk’s To Do List. From a human standpoint, however, totally, definitely, 100% can see a weirdo shoving virtual versions of people he doesn’t like into a reality of his own making. 3/5
7. Crocodile 20/29
This one is probably the one true Black Mirror episode of the season. Dark, twisted, with an unexpected ending that’s just delicious. There isn’t much to say about the episode – it was exactly what it needed to be. Loved all the little Easter eggs sprinkled throughout as well. 5/5
TechTalks: Oh, I loved the little machine. It is terrifying as it basically tricks you into thinking about the truth. And thoughts are the just one thing that can’t be controlled. However, the feasibility of this existing in our here and now is further down the line. 3/5
6. Black Museum 21/29
Confession time: I wasn’t all that impressed with Season 4. Ironic, I know, considering four of its episodes made it onto this Top 10. For the most part, it felt like they were playing it safe, with the two exceptions in Crocodile and Black Museum. Looking to recreate the star on top of the Black Mirror franchise tree (yes, talking about White Christmas), Black Museum delivers. The three little stories connect each other seamlessly (at times even better than the White Christmas ones), and the amount of Easter eggs could drive Kinder into bankruptcy. No happy end for the evil genius, but a satisfying one for us. It had major Hard Candy vibes too. 5/5
TechTalks: With this episode, the technology presented was more on the Sci-Fi side and I wouldn’t see any of the devices making an appearance in real life. That is, with the exception of the second one which preserves the consciousness of a dearly departed. Can’t help but notice the similarity between this and the Resurrection Stone in Harry Potter as both have the ability to “bring back the dead” but not in a way that brings joy to anyone. How long can happiness last anyhow? 2/5
5. Shut up & Dance 23/29
By the time this episode aired, unexpected endings shouldn’t have fazed any of us anymore, but the plot twist at the end was on a whole new level. Re-watching the episode, the clues were all there (and blindingly obvious I might add). But this is where the Black (mirror) Magic comes in and derails you until it’s time for the big reveal. One pet peeve I do have with the episode – barring the final fight, would any of the other people involved really commit crimes over such petty offences like low grades or an affair? 8/10
4. San Junipero 23/29
My personal favourite. I don’t blame Netflix for wanting to re-create the episode in Season 4, but one of the reasons this was so good it was because it is like a breath of fresh air in a sea of death. There’s absolutely nothing bad I can say about this episode. I know there are some voices classifying the ending as grim, but I can’t think of a better outcome for a terminally ill patient. Beautiful. 1/5
TechTalks: Another cookie-based technology (I solemnly swear cookie is not my keyphrase). The difference is that the others are more AI-like, and thus, more real, and this is not. It entirely relies on preserving the actual consciousness and uploading it to the cloud for the sole benefit of the person who’s dying or dead. You could argue it’s the same as the Resurrection Stone (for a lack of a better word) in Black Museum, but that one could actually be a device that has learned the thoughts / behaviours / speech of someone and works similarly to the lifelike robot in Be Right Back. I can see the demand for it, I can see the outcome if the tech existed, but it’s safe to say it won’t happen anytime soon. 3/5
3. White Christmas 24/29
Tis the OG. The format of linking three separate stories into one was a success and we got a few exciting twists and turns in the span of just one episode. As always, Black Mirror manages to keep us in the dark until the very end for the major reveal. I love Joe Hamm as a narrator as well. 5/5
TechTalks: The original cookies! These are just updated versions of a personalised Alexa, so sign me up. Would love oanafmyown. Then, the digital lenses are the other main recurring device in Black Mirror and, again, we’ll be having those pretty soon. I did have to mark down a point because the blocking feature just seems unrealistic. 3/5
2. Nosedive 24/29
This is such a good, well-rounded episode and if it was meant to be a little too close to home, it hit the mark. It is a dystopia disguised as an utopia. The ending isn’t grim (which is why it scores low) as the whole screaming match at the end is liberating and she is finaaaally free from the shackles of that society. However, part of me resents the ending. We are supposed to be happy for her, but I can’t help but stress over the fact that she lost everything in the span of a few hours. Imagine your life (even one in which you have to pretend everything is perfect) being ruined just because you had a bad night (literally an argument with her brother that snowballed into… everything). To me, that’s scary. 2/5
TechTalks: The same contact lenses with incorporated Social Media. What you do and say online can affect your life, so we’re not far from things being taken a step further into establishing a ranking based on that. Plus, China’s already got the Social Credit system… 4/5
1. Entire History of You 26/29
This is how it all began. Striping this episode off of all the fancy technology, it all comes down to the good ol’ cause and effect. The ending is tamer than its counterparts in Season 1, but that doesn’t make it uninteresting. The plot unfolds nicely and it wraps up neatly. Consequences suck. 5/5
TechTalks: The center-piece of Black Mirror lies in the grains. These appear to be the beta versions of what we encounter in Nosedive, White Christmas, Men Against Fire or Arkangel. In this episode, their main purpose is to record everything, either for the sake of memories or as evidence. The technology is a blessing and a curse, but very much real. The jealousy is too. 4/5
This was not an easy job.
With its evergreen topics and flawless deliveries, Black Mirror is one of the top TV shows of our time. With the exception of Metalhead (personal opinion, but what. the. hell. was that?) each episode has a message and entertains in its own unique way, so picking and choosing is a titanic task.
As a reward, I’ll now go and re-watch San Junipero and you can go watch your favourite, whichever that is (I really, really hope it’s not Metalhead, though).